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As Legal Professionals, How Do We Stop Judging?

By Gray Robinson

Learn how to stop judging everything so you can relax and start enjoying your life.

how to stop judging

As both human beings and lawyers, we see what we want to see. We see the pile of garbage on the side of the road or the flower. We see the good in people or we see the evil. We see events in our lives we like or are consumed by events we do not.

We are constantly making judgments, either consciously or subconsciously, that determine our experiences and control our happiness.

The “switch” that determines whether we like what is happening or not is called judgment.

What If We Eliminated Judgment From Our Lives?

We are much more powerful than we think because we can control our perceptions and projections.

When we eliminate judgment, we start to see life from an objective, completely conscious viewpoint. Without judgment, nothing is better than anything else. We stop reacting to life; we simply witness life. We cease experiencing anger, fear, rejection and other negative emotions that cause suffering. Everything simply is.

So how do we stop judging? Here are some suggestions.

It Takes Radical and Rigorous Honesty

First, you must admit to yourself when you are being judgmental and stop it.

It isn’t easy: Judgment is so deeply ingrained in our mental processes that it is like dandelion roots that keep growing back in the lawn of our thoughts. But when we rid ourselves of judgment, prejudices disappear and we start to see people for who they truly are.

Choose a Different Lens

When life gets to be traumatic and overwhelming, try looking at it through a different lens.

Take a break from projecting. Be still. Focus on a candle flame or your breathing. Imagine that you are a movie projector projecting your life and that you get to choose the lens on the projector. Pull out the lens of hope and see what you see. Pull out the lens of trust and see what you see.

You can have hope or you can have fear. You can have faith or doubt. You can have trust or you can have suspicion and guilt. When you change from a lens of negativity to one of positivity, the world looks far different.

Projection Is a Mirror

When you suspect someone of inappropriate thoughts or behavior, it is likely that you are projecting your inadequacies on them to suppress your own. For example, you suspect your spouse of cheating because you have feelings of infidelity. Or, you feel other people don’t like you when it is you who doesn’t like you. Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings before judging someone else.

Empathy Is the Opposite of Projection

Judgment affects everything, creating the perceptions of good and bad, right and wrong, love and hate. When judgment is removed, those polar opposites disappear.

When you try to understand what someone else is feeling and thinking, you reverse the psychic energy of projection. So, for example, when you identify with people you feel don’t like you, you can stop projecting your self-loathing onto someone else and begin to understand who they really are.

Is Judgment Preventing You From Being Happy?

Everyone believes in something. When you believe that events in life happen “to” you, you can get stuck in victim mode, constantly anxious and afraid of what might happen next. This is what judgment does to you — or what we do to ourselves.

It is hard work to dig deep under all the rationalizations that form your judgments and create your reality. Once you examine how your judgments limit you, you can let them go and allow yourself to relax and enjoy your life.

You can easily learn how to stop judging and change your judgmentalism into something positive you do for yourself. You are that powerful.

Image © iStockPhoto.com.

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Gray Robinson Gray Robinson

Sir Gray Robinson is a lawyer, writer, speaker, mentor, consultant and coach for lawyers who are struggling with their practices. He was a divorce lawyer for 27 years, handling hundreds of divorces, custody and support cases. Gray quit in 2004 due to stress and burnout and has devoted himself to helping lawyers and clients deal with the pressures of practicing law. Gray is the founder of Lawyer Lifeline, a restorative program that guides legal professionals through anxiety and stress to fulfillment and passion. In. 2023, he was inducted as a knight of The Royal Order of Constantine the Great and St. Helen, an organization that has existed since 312 ACE. Follow him on LinkedIn.

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