We already knew about the motherhood penalty for lawyers, but what about the daddy track? The ABA’s parenthood study offers a roadmap for fixing a faulty structure that fails working mothers (and it’s not just about childcare). Listen up, law firm leaders!
Highlights
- The Double Standard: While women face a severe motherhood penalty, fathers are often rewarded for the same childcare tasks.
- Beyond Flexibility: Flexible schedules aren’t enough if law firm culture still demands 24/7 availability and penalizes boundary-setting.
- Leadership Accountability: Tracking post-leave metrics — like assignment quality and promotions — helps ensure parents aren’t sidelined.
When I was first asked to review the American Bar Association Commission on Women in the Profession’s most recent report on parents and caregivers in the legal profession, I thought: “Wow. Another report telling us just how horrible it is to be a mother practicing law.”
And then I read it.
The full title of the report is Legal Careers of Parents and Child Caregivers: Results and Best Practices From a National Study of the Legal Profession. The underlying study is based on a national survey of 8,168 legal professionals and a series of focus groups. It’s a lot more than “just another report” because it provides a detailed picture of what actually happens to lawyers’ careers when they become parents, looking at mothers, single mothers, and fathers. And some of the findings are worse than I thought, especially for single mothers. Fortunately, the report also provides remedies and a toolkit to help firms and other organizations follow through on the findings.
Yes, the report explains, once again, how difficult it is to be a mother and a lawyer. It talks about the motherhood penalty for lawyers. It shows why women may be afraid to take time away from work to have children because they worry it will hurt their careers. And, unfortunately, the data suggest that their fears are not unfounded.
Perhaps more interestingly, though, the report shows that while fathers can experience a parenthood penalty, too, it is often much less severe for them. In some cases, parenthood may actually give fathers an advantage. In other words, the legal profession may have a “daddy track,” but it is very different from the well-known mommy track.
We Already Knew About the Motherhood Penalty for Lawyers
Let’s start with what isn’t exactly news.
Women with children face competing expectations. They are expected to be good mothers who put their children and families first while also being ideal lawyers who show complete commitment to their careers. The report describes the criticism and stereotypes mothers face regarding their competence and commitment to their legal careers.
And the data back up what many women lawyers already know:
Mothers are more likely than fathers to report negative experiences at work. They are more likely to experience tension between parenting and their legal careers. They are overwhelmingly the ones doing the double duty of childcare and household responsibilities. They also report higher levels of stress and burnout.
And that double duty isn’t just picking the kids up from school. It includes arranging childcare, leaving work when a child is sick, taking care of children during the evening, helping with homework, arranging medical appointments, attending extracurricular activities, cooking meals, and handling the other responsibilities that keep a household running.
Meanwhile, the lawyer who is also a mother is still supposed to be available. All. The. Time. Because one of the things legal leadership has decided makes us “good” lawyers is being available 24/7 and demonstrating that the law comes before everything else. Total commitment. That is an impossible standard for anyone to meet — even when you don’t have kids. Asking a parent to do it is — in my opinion — insane.
But here’s the part of the report that really got my attention.
The report makes clear that fathers can experience negative consequences when they become parents, too. We know that parenthood can affect men’s careers, and nobody should pretend otherwise. But in some circumstances, fathers who take on childcare responsibilities are actually rewarded at work for being good parents. That’s right: rewarded.
Think about that for a minute. Mom does the childcare and it is evidence that she’s less committed to her career. Dad does the childcare and he gets a pat on the back for being a great father.
Mom has to leave work because her child is sick, and people wonder whether she is really committed to her job. Dad has to leave work because his child is sick, and everyone notices what a devoted dad he is.
Mom has been doing the childcare and household work for years. Dad steps in occasionally and apparently deserves a gold star.
As the report described this difference in treatment, I couldn’t help thinking that we have spent years talking about the so-called mommy track while overlooking the possibility of a “daddy track.”
This is the essence of the motherhood penalty for lawyers: The mommy track says, “She’s a mother, so maybe she isn’t as committed to her career.” The daddy track can say, “He’s a father, and look at him being such a great dad.” Same child. Same childcare responsibility. Very different interpretations. That is not a parenting problem. It’s a bias problem.
The Problem Is Bigger Than Childcare
It would be easy to read these findings and conclude that the answer is simply to make childcare easier. Of course, affordable and accessible childcare does help. So does paid parental leave, family leave, flexible schedules and remote work. But the report shows that the problem goes deeper than that.
Legal careers are often structured around the assumption that the lawyer has few competing demands on their time. Long hours, billable-hour requirements, expectations of constant availability, informal assumptions about commitment, and the fear of career consequences when someone steps away all contribute to the problem.
And here’s where I think we sometimes get the solution backward. We tell parents, especially women, to get better at managing it.
- Set boundaries.
- Learn to delegate.
- Find good childcare.
- Get a mentor.
- Negotiate for flexibility.
- Be more resilient.
All those things may be useful. But none of them change a workplace that equates commitment with being available all the time. We cannot solve a structural problem by making the person experiencing it better at coping with the faulty structure.
So, What Would Actually Help? Listen Up, Law Firm Leaders
The ABA report offers a long list of recommendations for legal employers. There are 13 in all, ranging from family-friendly policies and flexible work to compensation and billable-hour changes, on-ramp programs, career development and tracking metrics. A few stand out to me.
First, flexibility has to be a real benefit.
It isn’t enough to have a policy that says lawyers can work remotely or part-time if the people who use it are then viewed as less committed. The report specifically warns that lawyers who take advantage of flexible work arrangements should not be disadvantaged through less desirable assignments, compensation, advancement, or mentorship opportunities. Otherwise, it’s not really a benefit. It’s a career gamble.
Second, parental leave has to be something people can actually take.
The report recommends paid family leave and emphasizes that both mothers and fathers should be able to take it without fear of negative consequences for evaluations, compensation, bonuses, or promotions. This is especially important if we want to eliminate the double standard mothers face. If fathers routinely take parental leave and handle childcare, caregiving becomes a normal part of being a lawyer rather than something associated primarily with women.
Third, employers need to measure what happens after a lawyer becomes a parent.
Don’t just ask whether you have a parental leave policy. Look at what happens to the people who use it.
- Are they getting the same quality of assignments?
- Are they being compensated at the same level?
- Are they being promoted?
- Are they making partner?
- Are they leaving?
The report recommends using metrics to track progress because you can’t fix a problem you don’t understand, and you can’t understand it if you aren’t tracking it. This is the foundation for the structural change that is needed in the legal profession.
And finally, let lawyers be people.
The report recommends wellness and mental health resources, including counseling, mindfulness, and meditation programs, affinity groups and sabbaticals. It also recommends encouraging lawyers to actually use their vacation time and having leaders model a healthier work-life balance.
I particularly like that last piece because it gets at the bigger picture.
Lawyers should be allowed to have lives. We are not just lawyers. We are people, parents, spouses, friends, siblings, caregivers to aging parents, and much more. We should be able to practice law and have a life outside of it. We deserve: Friends. Hobbies. Vacations. Interests. Exercise. Community. Time to stare into space for 20 minutes without feeling guilty about it.
All work and no play doesn’t just make lawyers less interesting. It can make us exhausted, burned out, and unhappy. And it can make us not so great at being lawyers.
This Isn’t a Problem Mothers Can Solve By Themselves
The most important point in the report is that responsibility for changing the faulty structure does not belong to women who are trying to navigate the broken system. That responsibility belongs to the people who have the power to change the system.
The report is clear that leaders in law firms, legal departments, government and other legal workplaces need to implement the recommendations from the report because parent-lawyers are trying to succeed in an environment that has set them up to fail.
The report found that employers with policies supporting women and mothers see positive effects on advancement, belonging and retention, including advancement into leadership and equity partnership.
So, the takeaway from this report isn’t that the motherhood penalty for lawyers is real. We already knew that from all the reports that came before this one. The takeaway is that parenthood isn’t the problem. The problem is the current way leadership responds to parenthood.
But leaders can change the system and fix the problem if they care and if they try.
