George Washington’s “Rules of Civility” say a lot about how individuals should communicate. Here are the most relevant rules for lawyers today.
Among the artifacts held at Mount Vernon is a copybook George Washington used as a boy to transcribe The 110 Rules of Civility. He copied the then-popular Francis Hawkins translation of a Jesuit manual of French etiquette.
Scholars credit the book’s teachings with helping form Washington’s character. The rules include guidance on topics such as table manners, spatial etiquette, and how to manage the barriers between the classes of British society. And the Rules say a lot about how individuals should communicate. The underlying caution is to treat others with courtesy and respect. Here are the lightly edited, most relevant rules for lawyers, with the original spelling and punctuation.
Effective Oral Communication
73d. THINK before you Speak. pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly and Distinctly
35th. LET your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.
74th. WHEN Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience [other listeners]. if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without [if not] desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended
6th. SLEEP not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not on when others Stop. [Pay attention when others are speaking, conform to others’ level of respect, respect others’ limits.]
Body Language
19th. Let your Countenance be pleasant but in Serious Matters Somewhat grave
20th. The Gestures of the Body must be Suited to the discourse you are upon
76th. WHILE you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face
12th. SHAKE not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl [roll] not the Eys, lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no man’s face with your Spittle, by approaching too near him when you Speak.
14th. TURN not your Back to others especially in Speaking, Jog not the Table or Desk on which Another reads or writes, lean not upon any one.
Communication With Clients
82d. UNDERTAKE not what you cannot Perform but be Carefull to keep your Promise
83d. WHEN you deliver a matter do it without Passion & with Discretion, however mean [low class] ye [the] Person be you do it too
21st. Reproach none for the Infirmities of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in mind thereof [don’t condone others’ insults either].
17th. BE no Flatterer, neither Play with any that delights not to be Play’d Withal [be straight with people].
Do Not Demean Your Opponent, Especially Once You Have Won (Even If That Person Is a Jerk)
22d. Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were your enemy
65th. SPEAK not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest. Scoff at none although they give Occasion
41st. Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Professes; it flavours of arrogancy.
47th. MOCK not nor Jest at anything of Importance. break no Jest that are Sharp Biting and if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain from Laughing thereat yourself.
In-Person Networking
66th. BE not forward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute, hear and answer & be not Pensive when it’s a time to converse.
Rule 75. [When approaching a group], in the midst of Discourse ask not of what one treated [discussed] but if you Perceive any Stop because of your coming you may well intreat him gently to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your [you are] Conversing it’s handsome to Repeat what was said before.
8th. AT PLAY and at Fire it’s Good manners to give Place to the last Commer [clear a space for someone to join you], and affect not to Speak Louder than ordinary.
Discretion
58th. LET your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for ’tis a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: & in all Causes of Passion admit Reason to Govern
79th. BE not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. IN Discoursing of things you Have heard, Name not your Author, always A Secret Discover not [don’t repeat confidential information].
77th. TREAT with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others
81st. BE not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others; neither approach to those that Speak in Private
60th. BE not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret.
50th. BE not hasty to believe flying Reports [unverified gossip] to the Disparagement of any
Respect Evidentiary Privilege
18th. READ no Letters, Books, or Papers in Company but when there is a Necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the Books or Writings of Another so as to read them unless desired or give your opinion of them unask’d also look not nigh when another is writing a Letter
Guidance for Supervisors
56th. ASSOCIATE yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for ’tis better to be alone than in bad Company. [Hire high-quality employees and contractors.]
45th. BEING to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it & in reproving Shew no Signs of Cholar [anger] but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness
48th. WHEREIN you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for example is more prevalent than Precepts
49. USE no Reproachfull Language against anyone neither Curse nor Revile
59th. NEVER express anything unbecoming, nor Act ag’tt [against] ye Rules of Moral before your inferiours
Guidance for Associates and Supervisees
84th. WHEN your Superiours talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh. [Don’t undercut your boss.]
46th. Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given, but afterwards not being culpable take a Time or Place Convenient to let him know it that gave them.
Universal Underlying Principles
1st. EVERY Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.
110th. LABOUR to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire called Conscience.
George Washington’s “Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation” is available in the Mt. Vernon shop and on Amazon, here.
More Writing Tips
Find more good ideas for improving your legal writing and communications skills in “Get to the Point” by Teddy Snyder.
