When you face situations you don’t enjoy or problems you can’t readily solve, it is helpful to shift your perspective. Shifting your perspective can allow you to focus on the good, elevate your mood and bring you to new creative solutions. You shift your perspective by thinking or doing something differently to change yourself, your situation or others.
Here are five ways.
1. Think “I Get To” Instead of “I Have To”
Sometimes when I am feeling overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities, they all seem like weighty obligations: I have to prepare breakfast for my daughter. I have to walk the dogs. I have to call clients. I have to draft papers and negotiate a settlement. There are so many things I “have to” do. Truth be told, some of those things may not be necessary, or at least not necessary for me to do. But even when I am the one who must do them, I can change my words to shift my perspective.
- I get to prepare breakfast for my daughter and spend some time with her while we eat.
- I get to walk the dogs and see how eager they are to sniff around.
- I get to call clients in order to help them (or at the very least, to earn income).
- I get to draft papers so that I can advocate and make persuasive arguments.
- I get to negotiate a settlement, which can be an interesting experience and provide clients with much-needed resolution.
When you think about all the tasks you “have to” do today, change your words and see how much better you feel.
2. Change Something Small
When things are not going as well as you would like, change something. Start with something small, like driving a different route to work or trying a new restaurant for lunch. The change doesn’t need to be related to the problem. Simply doing something differently will allow your mind to open to other possibilities. Eventually, you can move on to changing bigger things that have a more direct impact on the problematic issue.
3. Use “What I Like About It Is …”
Use this phrase when things are not good, and no matter how much you change or rephrase, they don’t get better. Your computer crashed and you lost the first draft of your brief? “What I like about it is … I can upgrade to a new, faster computer.”
It doesn’t solve the problem, but at least you can find one positive thing to focus on while you deal with solving the problem.
4. Consider Another’s Perspective
When dealing with difficult people, it can be helpful to consider their perspective. Think about where they are emotionally. Consider what challenges they are facing. Contemplate the business decisions they are considering. This is particularly useful when trying to negotiate or reach a resolution to a contentious problem. Once we understand the other person’s motivation and concerns, we can “soften” our response if that is appropriate, or we can craft solutions that work for ourselves and our client and simultaneously address the other person’s concerns.
5. React Unusually
If you don’t like the way things are going, react unusually — that is, don’t keep doing the same things in response to the same issues. Instead, do something unusual. Perhaps every time you speak with opposing counsel on the phone, he yells at you and you become annoyed because of his preposterous rhetoric, which leads to a heated argument between you. Next time: React differently. Maybe excuse yourself from the call and contact him after you have calmed down. Maybe remain silent and write down everything he is saying. The point is to create a break in your actions and thoughts to provide an opportunity for things to move forward differently.
As Henry David Thoreau said, “It’s not what you look at that matters; it’s what you see.” Shift your perspective to see life in a way that is better for you.