The time has come to move beyond mere “civility” and embrace compassionate professionalism.
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For the past two decades, bar associations, committees and commissions, federal and state court judges, commentators and legal educators have issued a clarion call for greater “civility” in our profession. In the process, lots of ink has been spilled and countless hours have been devoted to promulgating rules and guidelines aimed at minimizing, if not eliminating, behaviors that, at best, could be characterized as boorish and, at worst, disgraceful.
The resulting creeds, codes, and administrative orders run the gamut from broad admonitions to “abstain from all rude, disruptive, disrespectful and abusive behavior” and, instead, “to act with dignity, decency, and courtesy” to more specific directives relating to the handling of day-to-day interactions with opposing counsel, clients and the courts.
Make no mistake. These initiatives are highly commendable.
However, it is time to move beyond mere civility and fully embrace and tend to our shared humanity.
It’s Time We Stop Shying Away from the Truth
It’s time we not only realize, but act in a manner consistent with the inescapable truth that we are human beings first — mothers, fathers, spouses, partners, siblings, friends — and lawyers a distant second.
While we put on a brave face in the morning, at the end of the day, we are all equally fragile and flawed. We bleed just like the next person. We struggle, get depressed and feel anxious. We suffer from addictions. We have hard days. We are often overstressed.
We need patience, empathy and understanding. The truth is, we need each other. And, sometimes, we need help — professional help.
Embracing Compassionate Professionalism
It’s time we redirect our energies and dedicate ourselves to “compassionate professionalism.”
What does that look like, and where do we begin?
Learning the Warning Signs of Depression, Anxiety and Burnout
Compassionate professionalism begins with educating ourselves on the diagnostic criteria and warning signs of the most prevalent forms of mental illness in the legal profession. Anxiety, depression, substance abuse and eating disorders are just a few of the battles we are facing. Learning to identify these illnesses and how we can most effectively respond and support ourselves and others is key.
Education enables us to distinguish fact from fiction when it comes to mental illness. It assists us in helping others understand these frequently misunderstood illnesses — a critically important step in eliminating the stigma that continues to keep many from the help they need.
Stepping Into the Awkward Silence
It next requires that we begin paying much closer attention to the people whose paths we cross, both personally and especially professionally. It means that we trust our newly educated instincts when it comes to matters of the heart and the mind, and that, when we see something, we do something.
We need to step into “the awkward silence.” We need to stop accepting “I’m fine’s” when our eyes and our hearts tell us otherwise. We need to let folks who are isolating, tearful, or uncharacteristically disengaged know they are not alone — that they’re seen, that we’re here, and that we’re available to talk or listen.
Knowing someone notices and cares is often all it takes to keep someone going, to keep fighting.
Finally, Compassionate Professionalism Means Committing to Kindness
We don’t need a bar association to tell us how we should treat each other — at least, we shouldn’t. Our hearts have intuitively known how to do that since we first set foot in the kindergarten sandbox. The fact that we acquired a law license on the road to adulthood does not give us a license to change that, nor does our ethical obligation to “zealously represent” our clients demand it.
What Am I Proposing?
It’s quite simple. Commit to kindness — to being a human being. We must treat everyone we deal with — colleagues, staff and so-called “adversaries” alike — with respect, compassion and, when the circumstances require, empathy.
Let’s face it, the last thing any of us needs is more stress and anxiety in the form of hurtful, disrespectful, condescending, dismissive or demeaning words and actions. Trust me, there is another way.
The truth is that being more attentive to our own and others’ humanity will not only make us a better lawyer — it will also make us a better everything!
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