If you hate shaking hands at work or anywhere else, I have good news. Youโll still hate it at the end of this article, but it will be easier.

Table of contents
- Itโs OK, I Got You on This ‘How to Shake Hands’ Thing
- All the Worst Handshakes and How to Handle Them
- How to Shake Hands With a Dead Fish
- How to Shake Hands With a Pro Wrestler
- How to Shake Hands With Your Dateโs Dad
- How to Shake Hands With a Slider
- How to Shake Hands With a Two-Hand Handshaker
- How to Shake Hands With the Overshaker
- How to Shake Hands With a Holder
- How to Shake Hands With a Bro
- How to Shake Hands With an Awkward Shaker
- Bonus Tip: How to Shake Hands With a European
- How to Shake Hands in Two Easy Steps
You probably shake hands 4,000 times a day โ or at least it seems like you do. And you never get it right, and it’s driving you crazy. Handshakes are ruining your life!
Itโs OK, I Got You on This ‘How to Shake Hands’ Thing
As a certified boomer, shaking hands is second nature to me. I do it all the time. But that doesnโt mean I never screw it up. I do. Even with people I know! I went to shake a guyโs hand last week, a guy Iโve known for years, shook his hand a million times, and something went weird. We ended up with the outside of our hands just sliding along each otherโs skin like psychopaths. It happens.
There are a million ways a handshake can go wrong. Sometimes, itโs on you, and sometimes, itโs on them. But thereโs just one way to get it right โ itโs super easy. Iโll tell you how in two easy steps below, but first:
All the Worst Handshakes and How to Handle Them
How to Shake Hands With a Dead Fish
WHAT IT IS. A limp handshake is everyoneโs worst handshaking nightmare. You reach out, take their hand, and suddenly youโre supporting their finger bones like their hand just died on the end of their arm. Shaking hands with someone whoโs shake is very, very light is definitely weird. Itโs always unexpected, and you never know what to do.
WHAT TO DO. Relax. Even if you went hard and youโre about to crush their phalanges in your iron-like grip. Just chill. Loosen your grip. Lighten your touch. Because this isnโt on you. This is on them. Itโs their style, their choice, their strange petition to be remembered for having a handshake like a wet rag.
How to Shake Hands With a Pro Wrestler
WHAT IT IS. A grip that can shatter a brick. This handshake is always delivered by some hyper-muscled Jethronian boomer who is too loud and is 90% teeth. It hurts. Itโs ridiculous. Thereโs no reason for it.
WHAT TO DO. Relax. Get it over with. They think a strong handshake says something about their character. It does, but not what they think. they think it says winner, but it really says douchenozzle.
How to Shake Hands With Your Dateโs Dad
WHAT IT IS. A strong grip, not painful, but solid. Aggressive with unwavering eye contact. This is a test and you will never, ever pass because the test isnโt about your handshake. The test is about his role as protector and provider. That’s his baby you’re about to take to the prom, and he needs to make sure you know he knows where you are and what youโre doing.
WHAT TO DO. Return the same pressure (if you can). Maintain eye contact. When they let go โ you hold your grip for one millisecond longer. Because youโre the captain now.
How to Shake Hands With a Slider
WHAT IT IS. A strange and unusual grip wherein they kind of slide their hand into yours.
WHAT TO DO. Nobody knows. You could run away, god knows you’ll want to. But the best thing to do is just cinch up a little tighter if they seem to slide past some heretofore unknown threshold of no-way-buddy. Stop ’em in their tracks. Then let go.
How to Shake Hands With a Two-Hand Handshaker
WHAT IT IS. They grab your hand with their free hand mid-shake. This is a gesture of sincerity. This is a grandpa grip, a preacher grip. It means they care. Unless itโs false, in which case it’s meant to make you think they care.
WHAT TO DO: Put your hand over theirs. Sincerely.
How to Shake Hands With the Overshaker
WHAT IT IS. They shake your hand like a paint mixer.
WHAT TO DO. Hold on. They wonโt stop. They canโt stop. Itโs baked into their DNA. You might, if you like to be entertained, try to outshake them, but you risk causing a localized class 4 earthquake.
How to Shake Hands With a Holder
WHAT IT IS. The worst moment of your life. They will hold onto your hand for the entire conversation. They will hold your hand on the way to their office. They will take you home and hold your hand while they eat dinner and watch the game. Your hand is their hand now.
WHAT TO DO. Sneeze. Or act like youโre about to. Theyโll let go like you have the plague. Now run away.
How to Shake Hands With a Bro
WHAT IT IS. An overly familiar, excessively intimate combination of a regular handshake that morphs into that thumb-forward grapple where they pull you close and then slap you on the back.
WHAT TO DO. Fire them. Good lord, man, this isnโt Coachella. Weโre not at the beach. This is an office, sir!
How to Shake Hands With an Awkward Shaker
WHAT IT IS. They have even worse anxiety than you and end up with their hand up your sleeve.
WHAT TO DO. Laugh about it. Slap them on the shoulder or something boomeresque and chuckle and forget it ever happened.
Bonus Tip: How to Shake Hands With a European
WHAT IT IS. Not limp. Not strong. Firm. And hereโs the important part โ there is often a very subtle nod. Not the American โI see you in the hallway and acknowledge your presenceโ lift of the chin. This is a slight nod down and sometimes a little to the side.
WHAT TO DO. Give it back. Return the firm handshake with a firm handshake, nod, and then release.
How to Shake Hands in Two Easy Steps
Step 1: Stick out your (dry) hand.
Stand up to shake hands if you are seated (no matter your gender).
- Hold your hand forward with the thumb up and your fingers in a line. Youโve seen it. You know what I mean.
Step 2: Do whatever they do.
- When they grip your hand, simply grip back. Match their grip pressure.
- If they nod, you nod.
- If they overshake, you overshake.
- If they touch your elbow, common in Latin countries, you touch theirs.
Thatโs it. Well, sure, you could be in trouble if they decide to mirror you. In that case:
- Aim for a medium to firm grip โ not a squeeze, just a grip
- Maintain eye contact (unless you are doing the nod thing)
- Release after three shakes (no more)
- Take about a half step back
And smile.
Image ยฉ iStockPhoto.com.
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