Getting good at business development isn’t something you do for ‘extra credit.’ It’s how you create the future you want. Jay Harrington answers the questions he gets most often about selling legal services.
Table of contents
- The Emotional Cost of “No”
- Common Questions I Hear About Selling
- Q: What if I reach out to someone and they don’t respond?
- Q: I don’t want to seem pushy or self-promotional. How do I avoid that?
- Q: I’m uncomfortable “asking for business.” How do I get over that?
- Q: I’m overwhelmed by client demands. I don’t think I have time for this.
- Q: I’m doing the work, but not seeing any immediate results. Should I be worried?
- Trust the Process, Stay the Course
For many lawyers, business development isn’t just a matter of finding time. It’s about finding the courage.
Yes, the calendar is full. But even when time is carved out, there’s another obstacle that holds many lawyers back: the discomfort of putting yourself out there. Legal business development demands effort, patience, and a high level of emotional resilience. You can do all the right things and still go weeks — or months — without a win. And for ambitious, high-achieving professionals used to excelling, that’s a tough pill to swallow.
Here’s one way to think about it: Imagine you’re handed 100 scratch-off lottery tickets. Seven or eight are winners. Most people would get to work scratching through all 100, knowing that a few wins are buried in the pile. Sales works much the same way, whether selling legal services or otherwise. You try, you listen, you follow up, and you keep going until something hits.
The Emotional Cost of “No”
Selling legal services is different from other sales in a crucial way that makes it understandably difficult for many lawyers. In legal sales, you are the product. You’re not selling a widget or a software license. You’re selling yourself — your insight, judgment, experience and time. So when you reach out and hear nothing, or hear a “no,” it can feel deeply personal. Even if it’s not.
Professional salespeople are trained to shrug this off. They live by mantras like: Some will. Some won’t. Who cares. Move on. But you’re not a career salesperson. You’re a lawyer. And most lawyers I work with find it hard to adopt that level of detachment, at least at first.
Instead, I often see one of three reactions play out:
- You avoid business development entirely. You tell yourself you’ll “get to it later,” but later never comes.
- You build relationships but stay passive. You’re friendly and helpful, but you never move the conversation forward or ask for the work. It’s the professional version of being stuck in the friend zone.
- You make a move, but retreat at the first sign of disinterest. Even a lukewarm response feels like a rejection. But often, it’s not a “no” — it’s a “not yet.”
Common Questions I Hear About Selling
These patterns are natural. But they’re also limiting. So, how do you push through them? I often get some version of the following questions in my coaching practice. Here’s how I tend to respond.
Q: What if I reach out to someone and they don’t respond?
A: That’s not a rejection — it’s reality. People are busy and distracted. Inboxes are cluttered. A lack of response rarely means someone isn’t interested; more often, it just means the timing isn’t right. Gently follow up once or twice. At some point, you have to move on, but you should still try to remain visible because circumstances change. Business development is about persistence, not perfection.
Q: I don’t want to seem pushy or self-promotional. How do I avoid that?
A: Focus on being helpful. Share an article, offer a relevant introduction, or send over a practical tip. Think generosity, not self-promotion. When you lead with relevance and service, you’re seen as a resource, not a nuisance. People want to hear from someone who has something useful to say.
Q: I’m uncomfortable “asking for business.” How do I get over that?
A: Reframe it. You’re not begging for work — you’re offering help. Approach each conversation with curiosity. What’s the problem they’re facing? Can you help solve it? That’s not selling — it’s serving. And when you truly believe you can help someone, “selling” feels less like a pitch and more like an act of service.
Q: I’m overwhelmed by client demands. I don’t think I have time for this.
A: Client work will always fill every available hour. That’s why you need to treat business development time like any other commitment. Feeling overwhelmed? Start by blocking out 30 minutes a week. Put it on your calendar. Protect it. This isn’t extra credit. It’s how you build the future you want, rather than simply responding to the present you have.
Q: I’m doing the work, but not seeing any immediate results. Should I be worried?
A: Not at all. BD is farming, not hunting. You plant seeds — today’s email, next week’s lunch, next month’s webinar — and eventually, you see growth. But it takes time. Think in quarters, not days. Most successful rainmakers didn’t win a key client with one outreach — they earned it by showing up consistently, adding value, and being top of mind when the need arose.
Trust the Process, Stay the Course
Business development isn’t about being fearless. It’s about being persistent despite the fear. It’s about embracing rejection as part of the process, not a reflection of your worth.
You already have the hard part down. You’re smart. You’re capable. You’re credible. Now, the next step is consistency. Scratch the next ticket: Attend the next event. Send the next email. Make the next ask.
Because eventually, one of them will say yes. And then another. And another.
And when they do, you’ll realize the prize wasn’t just the work you won, but the confidence you built along the way that empowers you to keep going.
One of a Kind: A Proven Path to a Profitable Law Practice
BY JAY HARRINGTON
In today’s legal market, developing a profitable and consistent book of business requires a strategic approach. If you’re open to new ideas and are interested in growing your practice, this book is a great resource to kickstart the next stage in your career.
Image ©iStockPhoto.com
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